I’m staying RIGHT HERE BABY!

So the career opportunity that was great and not so great at the same time didn’t happen. I don’t feel badly about that either because I gotta say I was not feeling pulling up roots and moving to a new city and state at this stage of my life.

And, to tell the truth, I didn’t want to do the job. It’s more of the stuff I’ve been doing over the past few years and I’m trying to shift to some different content. At my current place of employment I’ve been working on doing more of the things I want to do and in recent months have found I’m being called on to do more of it.

BUT it was the kind of gig I could do for a year and then use its juice to bounce to something else I *wanted* to do. And for that reason alone, I was willing to seriously consider it.

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A possible change in the works…

Tomorrow I am traveling to another city to talk to some folks about a career opportunity. It would be a great move for me if it happened, but would require a lot of change and sacrifice for Mr. SLS.

Despite that, he is happily supporting me and encouraging me and even helped me pick out the right outfit and shoes so that I would make the best first impression.

But still, there are things to weigh and discuss and work out, if I come home with good news. It’s no longer about what’s best for ME, but about what’s best for us. Us.

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What would you do if you were laid off?

I spent some time over the last week or so thinking about what I would do if the ax falls at my place of employment. What did I come up with? Not what I’m doing now. That’s saying something, right? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my job, there are more highs than lows, but…I could walk away.

The thing is I long ago decided that I needed to focus on making sure I was satisfied OUTSIDE of work ’cause I am working for somebody and that could end with the flick of a pen. What does that mean?

Back at the beginning of my career I would wake up at night having panic attacks thinking about all I had to do, what mountains I had to move to deliver that A1 above-the-fold story the next day. Scared of failing. All that drama and stress and pressure and I wasn’t even making enough money to live on my own! My parents had to supplement me (and thankfully I had parents who could and would)!

It was several years before I realized that my health and sanity were more important at the end of the day. From that point on I gave a good day’s work for a good day’s pay. I don’t log on and check email at home. I don’t check the BlackBerry unless I have a project in the works and there is a chance there could be a question or problem. When I leave work I don’t think about it again until I get up the next day. I vacate when I go on vacation.

Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t get my work done OR that I don’t do more than I’m asked OR that I leave my team hanging, however it DOES mean boundaries. Proper perspective.

Because — and I think a lot of people have learned this lately — no matter how great a job you do, no matter how many extra hours you put in, if your employer decides today is your last day, it will be. We are not owed employment.

So who among you is doing what they want to do RIGHT NOW? And how do you balance work and personal life?

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Do you have the life you want?

This story from The New York Times made me think about the trajectory of my professional life and whether I have ended up in the place I was aiming for…the answer is no.

However, that’s not a bad thing. The medium in which I began my career is faltering. It’s not the place to be right now, though I pray it will find its footing and revive or transform itself soon. Long before things were on shaky ground, I jumped into another, less popular (at the time) area because it seemed interesting and a place I could make a mark. I’ve learned a lot, am quite marketable now and am earning more money than I thought I would ever earn in this business. The skills I have now can translate to other industries.

That said, I’m itching to pursue a dream I never acknowledged as attainable. Mr. SingLikeSassy has made me realize it’s not as out of reach as I had previously thought. I’m doing things now so that I can attain that dream.

But back to my original question: do you have the life you want? If not, why not and what are you doing about it?

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Creativity abounds and other things…

It never fails. As soon as you turn the kaleidoscope a smidge, suddenly opportunities abound. My two fun writing assignments have led to two other opportunities, neither of which I sought out. I also have been asked by a friend to design a Web site for her (she knows my skills in this area are rudimentary right now, but I’m trying to get better and she needs it done for free, so this is a good exchange for both of us). 

***

We have infertility insurance coverage again! Or, we will as of Jan. 1, 2009. Mr. SingLikeSassy’s employer offered some coverage so we moved over to his plan. This is better than great news because we are planning to do another full IVF cycle in a couple of months, and our savings got hit with the market drop. 

We were on my insurance because when we got married Mr. SLS was part-time with the school district and my employer had cheap rates and some excellent infertility coverage so it made sense. When I changed jobs earlier this year, Mr. SLS had just returned to full-time status so it made sense to just let me continue to cover us, even though my current employer offers no infertility coverage AND the premiums are high, though I am grateful in this economic downturn to have health insurance. I also am grateful we had sufficient savings that we could pay out of pocket for our last procedure. 

But I am especially grateful that we explored all of our options during this open season as shifting to his insurance saves us some money on the premiums as it costs him less than half of what it cost me to insure us (I pay more than $500/mth for both of us) and we get the added benefit of infertility coverage.

***

My friend is adopting her foster son!! He’s such a sweet kid, she’s had him since he was 4 (he’s 6 now), his mom can’t get it together and wants my friend to adopt him because she sees how well he is taken care of and how much he is loved. 

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Getting back to serious business

OK, I’m not sure I was ever writing about anything all that serious, but this post will take a sort of serious tone.

As I’ve moved along in my career I’ve gained new skills and realized, as most people do over the course of a career, that I am better at some things than others and I am more interested in some things than others.

I became a journalist because I wanted to be a humor writer/columnist. I envisioned myself as a mix of Erma Bombeck and Art Buchwald. I even found an article recently from my days as a newspaper intern where I said that’s what I wanted to do.

But in the early days I felt (and was told!) that I had to pay my dues first, by covering cops and courts and school board meetings and city council meetings. I let editors — who felt I had potential for newsroom leadership (HA!) — steer me toward covering hard news when really, I wanted to write about nothing. Kinda the way “Seinfeld” was a show about nothing.

At some point I realized that I was not a hard news reporter. I like the news of the quirky and odd. I like writing things that make people laugh. OK, things that make people chuckle. Alright, things that make people Mona Lisa smile, damn.

Anyways, I moved away from reporting and into editing and then transitioned into another area of the business, but still, the content focus has always primarily been hard news.

But I realized recently that I haven’t used to full advantage some of the opportunities available to me. 

To that end, I have two fun writing assignments right now. I plan to pitch more. The more I do it, the more I’ll be asked to do it. Pretty soon, I’ll be Queen of Stories About Nothing and you will all bow down and kiss my ring pop.

scribbling furiously in my notebook with a mad gleam in my eye

****Addendum****

Corny power ballads from two sangin’ azz chicks that I listen to when I need to fire up my mojo:

1. Make It Happen by Mariah Carey. Lyrics from the song that most inspire me:

If you believe in yourself enough and know what you want
You’re gonna make it happen, make it happen
And if you get down on your knees at night, and pray to the Lord
He’s gonna make it happen, make it happen

2. The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera. Lyrics from the song that most inspire me:

When there’s no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

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Stumbling on a colleague’s blog…

Let’s say, you stumble on the blog of a colleague and, being the nosey person you are, you read a little bit and it’s, um, disturbing. You have a meeting with said colleague later that day and all you can think about is the craziness on that blog, which has colored your opinion of this colleague.

This is why I write anonymously. Use the veil of anonymity people.

Use.

The.

Veil.

Ugh.

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Ain’t no jokes happening here

I am having a true midlife crisis. I don’t want to work anymore, which is crazy cause in my world, folks who don’t work, don’t eat.

But I can no longer muster up any excitement for this job and I realized it’s because I have lost all enthusiasm for this business. There’s no need to move to another gig, cause it will just be more of the same in a different place. I came to *this* gig thinking it would renew my interest in this but, here it is almost six months later and … nothing. It’s still a pile of steaming hot cat doody. Only benefit is the increased salary.

So over the next few months I have to come up with a plan for how to revamp my career, assuming I don’t get pregnant, in which case I will leave the workforce to raise our kid. I know that I want to pursue jazz studies, but the practical side of me needs to figure out how I can get paid doing that, cause my husband plays gigs all.of.the.time and it’s good extra money, but that’s not paying the mortgage every month. It’s too iffy. At least it is for me, anyways.

Sigh.

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Cry, baby, cry. Dry your weeping eyes.

Last week I had a crazy jacked up stressful give ‘em your left cheek to kiss walk out and don’t look back day at work that caused me to come in the door and throw myself at my husband in tears.

He held me tight and rubbed my back.

I felt better.

The end.

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Note to self…

Shut your piehole about work. See below.

Your faithful servant,
SingLikeSassy

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