A few days ago a recently married friend reached out to me and Shades of Reality to ask how she should have handled a conversation that happened with a single friend. The 5 cent version is that the single friend told the married friend she shouldn’t be cooking for her husband because he wasn’t working right now (he was laid off and hasn’t found new employment).
Two problems here, from my perspective.
First, it ain’t none of her damn business how that couple has set up their marriage. If that woman likes to cook for her husband and he’s eating it and they are happy, I say keep rattling the pans.
Secondly, single chick was kinda stank when she shared her unsolicited opinion about the situation that was none of her damn business. Now, as I have noted in recent posts, I am trying to be a softer, gentler SingLikeSassy because my husband is a nice guy and rarely gets ugly (but when he does ya betta sit yo’ ass down!). That said, my response to her was that she should have mushed old girl in the face. Meet stank at stank. LOL!
Shades of Reality, being so much nicer than me, made some valuable points about how it’s easy to say what you won’t do before you get married, but often once you are in the relationship you may find yourself doing some of those things (within reason) because you love the other person, they like it and you want to make them happy. The same applies to your mate. Relationships are about give and take.
I agree.
There are things some of my friends say they won’t do that I do. A small example is fixing my husband’s plate. Some of my friends see this as catering to a man and they REFUSE to cater to man. OK, whateva. ::shrugs::
Mr. SLS will fix and has fixed my plate. But, more importantly, he cleans the kitchen after I cook and serve us. I hate cleaning the kitchen and he’s not as skilled a cook as I am. So, what some see as me catering to my man is really us performing the roles that work best for us in our marriage.
I suspect some of the friends who find fault with this may find themselves compromising in some way or another once they are in relationships. It can’t be your way all of the time.
Have you encountered situations where friends offer unsolicited (and unwanted) commentary about things you do for your mate? Are there things you thought you would *never* do that you find yourself happily doing now because it makes your mate happy?
Chorus