Some folks got "Good Hair" twisted

I have friend who said she didn’t like the movie. She felt it should have been a doc OR a comedy. She also doesn’t like Chris Rock.

I, of course, enjoyed it as did Mr. SLS. But then, we *love* Chris Rock. In fact, for my birthday last year we went to see him perform.

I didn’t approach this movie thinking it would be anything more than what it is — a movie-length funny look at the craziness that is hair in the black community. I don’t know how anyone who saw the previews could think it would be anything BUT that. Did you see the cast: Ice T? Video Vixen chickie? Derek J of Real Housewives fame? C’mon people.

I think part of the problem is that some people are taking this black hair thing too damn far. CreoleinDC has posted a few times about the “high hair priestesses” on her blog. In sum up, they are women who are fanatic about natural hair and generally believe if you opt for straightened or relaxed hair then you are selling out and adhering to the “white media’s” brainwashing or some such bullshit.

This is MY hair and if I want it straight I’ll wear it straight. If you want cornrows or twists or dreds or whatever on your head, do that, but that looks like shit on me. I don’t have to prove I’m the blackest or downest or closest to my African ancestors via my hair or clothes or activities.

I’ve had braids and two-strand twists and a natural ‘fro. All of that was a bad look for me and when I got tired of looking fugged up, I relaxed my situation and now I’m cute as all get out again and all is right in MY world.

Some of the same folks screaming “down with relaxers” are keeping McDonalds in money and get mad when they can’t get their free fried chicken from Popeye’s. Natural and healthy is only important when it’s your hair. That’s dumb to me.

As for “Good Hair” — it got folks talking about hair in the black community. Good. ::runs comb through relaxed hair::

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Hairy issues

My mother has never known how to do hair, not hers and definitely not mine. Until she went natural a couple of years ago, she got her hair done every Friday at 4 p.m. like clockwork.

When I was little my Grandma would straighten my hair with a hot comb for Easter and put the little roller in it so I could have a bang in front. Otherwise I wore it braided. I never had the fat ponytails like the other girls. I so wanted fat ponytails.

Then when I was in the 6th grade my mother decided to have a jheri curl put in my head. Sigh. As I said earlier, she couldn’t do hair, and my hair is much finer than hers and wouldn’t hold a curl for a week as hers did. She thought this was a carefree (<–haha!) way to make sure my hair was done. I wore the curl until I went to college. I still looked jacked up, however, cause it took me some time to learn how to use curling irons. But once I got the hang of it, I was off to the races.

At one (really broke) point in time I could relax, wrap or roller set my hair, while also touching up my color rinse and I thought I was the bomb diggity. Yes, I dye my hair. I started graying at 16 and now have a skunk stripe. I got permanent color back in 1992 and despite the stylist testing and doing all she was supposed to do, my hair fell out in clumps two weeks later. This was a week before I had to be in a friend’s wedding. So every month since I’ve gotten a color rinse with the exception of Jan. 2009 when I didn’t have a relaxer and got permanent dye again.

Over the years I’ve tried wigs, weaves, braids, two strand twists and most recently, a natural. But you know what works best for my hair? Going to the hairdresser every other week, good conditioning and staying away from curling/flat irons.

I get my hair done on Saturday and this lasts til about Friday with me just fingerstyling and then I wash, condition and wear it natural for a week.

It only took 30+ years to get here…

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I straightened my situation out…

Yesterday I went to my regular hair appointment ready to just have her blow my hair straight and style it. I was tired of being nappy. By the time I got to the salon I had decided that my natural hair run was at an end.

As I said in this post from last summer, I’d always wanted to grow a natural and it was easier to manage on a daily basis than my relaxed hair, but I never liked the way I looked with my hair in its natural state. Yesterday was the final straw for me. I wanted to look and feel cute again and when I left the salon, I did. Mr. SLS confirmed it when he met me for drinks after my hair appointment. When he saw me he said, “Hey, heyyyyyyy” with a big grin on his face and gave me that good sugar.

What’s funny is I have been going to the same stylist for the past 9 years (with a break in there for when I had braids once, another terrible look for me) and after she cut and relaxed my hair, all the people in the salon at the time (most of the clientele there are regulars so we know each other via the chair) said some variation of, “Uh-oh she’s back!” I feel confident I made the right decision.

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I am not my hair

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to grow a natural. But, I was scared. I wasn’t sure what my hair would look like and how to do it and frankly, I was a slave to the relaxer.

Last year right before I got married, I got my very last relaxer. I promised myself I would go without relaxing for a year and then make a decision about where to go from that point. Tomorrow officially marks one year of being relaxer free. Here’s what my hair looks like one year out of chemicals:

It’s been a crazy ride. Turns out I have three different textures of hair on my head and the hair in the front was particularly resistant to returning to its natural state but around about April everything settled in and I hit a rhythm with products and styling.

I can’t begin to tell you how liberating it was to go to the beach/pool last month and not worry about my hair other than making sure it was properly cleansed and moisturized. I don’t miss going to bed and barely being able to sleep because of paranoia about messing up my “just done” hair. I don’t miss hating the rain because that meant my hairdo was kaput.

That said, I’m not sure I will do it indefinitely. I like the low maintenance, but it’s not the cutest look on me. I don’t feel as feminine and frilly as I do with my relaxed hair. If it were longer I know I wouldn’t feel this way, but growing it long enough for it to LOOK long will take years.

What do you guys think? Have you gone natural and, if so, how did you power through those “I want a Beyonce lacefront wig” moments?

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