“…jazz and jazz/blues versions of some of the songs that sustained the civil-rights movement in the 1960s (and beyond) through the setbacks, the hardships, the failures and the many hard-won successes that have moved America ever closer to racial equality.” — NPR
Archive for the 'race' Category
Last week when I first heard the Gatesgate story, I didn’t automatically think “racism.” As I’ve heard more and more of the details, I still feel like my first instinct was correct. My thought was, “OK two men playing the ‘who has the biggest member’ game” a la this Richard Pryor joke (I’m remembering this cause I couldn’t find a link to it via the Web so I might not have it exactly right. My version is also cleaner than RP’s).
Two men are walking along discussing who has the biggest member. They get to a bridge and one of the men has to pee. He pulls his business out to pee in the water, so the other man does, too. Man one says, “Damn, this water sure is cold!” Man two says, “And it’s deep, too!”
I talked to my parents about Gatesgate and they are convinced racism played some role in the incident.
And just based on the differing views between my parents and myself, I can understand how Gatesgate might have happened: perception is reality for most folks.
My parents grew up down South during the Jim Crow era. They have dealt with racism and discrimination firsthand. I have not. Have I somehow been affected by covert racism or subtle racism? Possibly. But I don’t live my life looking for the racism in a situation so I’m guessing it pretty much goes over my head.
Here’s an example of the perception/reality thing. At a previous place of employment, a black coworker decided a white coworker was racist because she didn’t say hello/good morning.
Now, as I have noted in the past, I am not a “good morning” type chick. When I suggested that maybe that coworker wasn’t a morning person either, the other coworker insisted it was racism and listed various reasons why. OK. That was her perception based on her experiences. My perception as an evil wench who *hates* to greet people in the a.m. before I put my purse down, get some coffee and generally settle in, was not the same.
Back to my parents. Based on their experiences, they are more sensitive to perceived racism. I suspect Mr. Gates’ experiences have also made him more sensitive to perceived racism and his perceptions and experiences are what he brought to the incident that has led to all this drama.
I think this article is a good summary of the situation. Give it a read.
16
Jan
09
Prejudices?
From the Carolyn Hax chat on washingtonpost.com today:
I hope this makes sense. : I know we all have our prejudices, but how much prejudice rules someone out as a dating partner? Over our second date, the guy I’ve been seeing revealed (through casual conversation) his attitudes toward several different minority groups. They are attitudes I happen to share, but I have always been of the belief that you keep those things to yourself, at least until you’re in the privacy of your home or family. Should I be put off by the fact that he was so vocal about his prejudices, or can I overlook them since we happen to “match” in that area? (By the way, I like him a lot otherwise.)
Carolyn Hax: I’ve read this about three times and I still don’t know what to say.
If you’re judging individuals based on your opinion of the demographic group(s) to which they belong, then I guess all I can say is that if you hit it off, please don’t raise children to share your views.
Ridding society of prejudice isn’t about having the social awareness not to utter prejudices in public. It’s about recognizing the fundamental flaw in judging people based on incomplete, often wrong and, in most cases, superficial information. So, no, don’t date this angry and ignorant person.
The longer you put off walking a mile in others’ shoes, the more it’s going to hurt.
WAIT! There’s more!
Prejudice girl : I’m hesitant to answer this question, since my first one apparently reflected really badly on me. But anyway, the guy works in the court system and just moved into a gentrifying neighborhood. When we talked about his job, he shared a number of anecdotes about _________s blaming everyone but themselves for their perpetual trouble with the law. When we talked about his recent move, he told me about a family of __________s who left him a series of nasty, inarticulate notes asking him to quit driving up the property values in their neighborhoods.
Basically, he and I are conservative types who are of the mind that people should take responsbility for themselves, and we resent that some minority groups still want to make excuses and cast blame everywhere else. It was a deep conversation and he could tell from my responses that I was receptive to his viewpoint.
Carolyn Hax: Yah. White people never make excuses or bring down property values.
But no, it’s not over yet! Still one more gem:
Prejudice girl again: Oh, and we are both opposed to the “gay rights” fight, which came up because I floated an innocent question about the upcoming inauguration. So I guess it’s my fault he outed himself, if you want to call it that.
Carolyn Hax: If you know you look bad–and you do–will that turn your attention inward? Will it take your having a gay child, or one who marries out of your race or faith? Or will you stick to your pat groupings as the last word on a person’s worth?
I do appreciate your answering our questions. While it’s no picnic, reading through my mail and the outtakes of these discussions is one of the most useful things I do with my time–not just professionally, but personally. Nothing like having my world views and mind sets and guiding beliefs/assumptions put to hostile scrutiny to keep at least part of me skeptical of my own reasoning and choices. So, I hope there’s something here that you find useful.
09
Dec
08
Guest post: Black, white and ho
As I noted yesterday, today’s post is by someone who is considering starting their own blog, so I invited them to guest blog** here to test it out.
Now, let’s all put our hands together for today’s featured guest, Shades of Reality. :::applause and whistles:::
I was taking the girls out of their car seats when a black woman in the car beside me rolled up with her two children and a cart full groceries.
“They are so pretty,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said, continuing to unbuckle the oldest.
“Are they mixed?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Well, they sure are beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Tell me,” said the woman, tapping into my friendliness, “what are they mixed with?”
“White,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Really?” she asked, looking like she didn’t believe me. “Because they don’t look white.”
“Oh, we get that all the time,” I tried to reassure her. “Some people think they are Asian.”
Four years ago, when my oldest daughter was born, this conversation would not have been possible. I would have shuttled my girls into the discount store long ago, thinking that woman was beyond rude. Today, I’m willing to give folks the benefit of the doubt.
“Black children who are mixed with white usually have sandy hair,” the woman said, as if she were some kind of expert.
“Well, their father’s hair is brown and my hair is brown, so they have brown hair.”
The woman didn’t respond and I took the opportunity to tell my girls to say bye-bye. They waved their hands, and we went inside.
Translation:
I was taking the girls out of their car seats when a black woman in the car beside me rolled up with her two children and a cart full groceries.
“Look at those high-yellow girls. They are so pretty,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said, continuing to unbuckle the oldest.
“Those kids look exotic and they don’t look like they belong to you. Are they mixed?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said.
“Well, I knew that. They are beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I said again.
“Their father must be fine. Tell me,” said the woman, tapping into my friendliness, “what are they mixed with?”
“White,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Well, they sure don’t look white. Are you sure you know who the father of your children is because I’ve seen white and black kids and these kids don’t look like they are mixed with white, you ho.”
“Oh, we get that all the time,” I tried to reassure her. “Some people think they are Asian.”
“Yeah, because you laid down with a few folks, didn’t you? Perhaps you should have a paternity test.”
“Black children who are mixed with white usually have sandy hair,” the woman said, as if she were some kind of expert.
“Well, their father’s hair is brown and my hair is brown, so they have brown hair.”
“Look, you can say that all you want to, but I ain’t buying it. You got with someone Asian and you know it, passing these kids off as black and white when they are clearly black and Asian. You should be ashamed of yourself. Hmmpfff.
I’m the mother of biracial children, and that’s the way I see it. — Shades of Reality
**I am always open to guest bloggers so if you are interested, submit your post to me at singlikesassy at yahoo dotcom. Keep it clean, keep it short and keep it sassy.
01
Nov
08
Monique Fields: "Waking Simone"
Another essay from my friend on theroot.com.
If elected, Obama would be the first African American, and more specifically, the first biracial president of the United States. He would be an instant role model for children of color everywhere. I’m inclined to wake Simone.
Another friend had a piece on theroot.com today.
Interesting commentary by a friend of mine on theroot.com today. Check it out.
21
Oct
08
Race and politics
Watch this video. (I embedded it earlier, but they have it set to auto-play in the code and that was making the blog load too slowly).
20
Sep
08
Black and White
Just wanted to introduce you to a new blog I’m following: Isolated: Stories of a Black Professor on a White Campus.
Here’s an excerpt from one of her posts:
“Well, I probably shouldn’t say this … (and we all know when someone prefaces a comment with that statement, some bullshit is about to follow) but what if (another colleague’s name and another colleague’s name) and I came to the office one day in blackface.”I can’t even begin to describe what my expression was at that point, but you know how it is when you twist your face in that “what the fuck????” kind of way? Well, that’s what I did.
So I said, “And why would you do that?? Oh, I see; to make me feel like there are other black people around me?”
— Isolated Black Prof
Yep, lots of fodder there for interesting Interwebz conversation.
The other night I was out with some people and was one of two black people in a group of about 25. There were no other people of color and I didn’t know the other black person. It didn’t bother me at all.
It’s always struck me as odd that in a city populated with so many black people my friend/social circle would be dominated by white people. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by white people all my life with no access to black people outside of my family. There were no white people in my neighorhood growing up. My high school’s nickname included the word “chocolate” in it. I attended an HBCU and I’m a member of a black greek-lettered organization.
But I’ve just bonded more in this city with people who don’t look like me, whether it’s common interests or just personalities meshing well. I guess.
On a random note, I am reminded of the time a former newspaper I worked for kept taking the newsroom staff group pic over and over because they couldn’t get all five of the black people in place at photo time (um, hello, we were out REPORTING. There is no news in the newsroom!) and they wanted to use this photo in recruitment materials for the major media company that owned the paper. We were all finally ordered by the executive editor to show up and be in this picture.
Which also reminds me that my current employer is the only one I have worked for that is diverse enough that I wasn’t called on to recruit at the journalism conferences this summer. First time in 10 years.
“I am hard pressed to find anyone my age who isn’t trying to act like they are 21. Everyone wants to go and party like they don’t have to go to work tomorrow. Everyone wants to smoke weed, drink and have sex with everyone like there are no consequences to their actions. Everyone’s wardrobe is some kind of teenage mix of some blue jeans with a french cuff pink dress shirt capped off with a sports blazer capped and don’t forget some skittle colored Air Force Ones!. People are still getting tattoos and piercings well into their 30’s. Grown Men are playing John Madden seriously like it is a get rich seminar. Vivica Fox had plastic surgery, Puffy cut his hair into a Mohawk, Kanye dresses like a bull fighter, Cube still wears Chucks, Common looks like a skateboarder with a suit, Steve Harvey has us wearing Cab Calloway suits and my Barber still drag races his car at the street races!”
Read the full posting on FreeMan Press.
Chorus